


.these violent delights have violent ends.

by XwinterwidowX



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, MCU, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics), shamless smut - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Protective Bucky, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:13:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XwinterwidowX/pseuds/XwinterwidowX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>reader has telekinesis and is on the run from hydra after many years of torture, avengers recruit reader, reader and Bucky fall in love, but hydra is still after reader making things dangerous for you and the avengers. eventual smut but a lot of it :)</p><p>feel free to leave comment, kudos and constructive criticism, I hope you like it ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter one

Chapter 1  
Your pov~ 

You woke up with a start, your heart was beating fast, a layer of sweat on your forehead, you looked at your watch 2:08 am, you’d had the dream again… 

*you’re in your cell in the hydra base, its cold and damp “oh god please just let them kill me, please” you whimpered to yourself pulling your knees to your chest and rocking slowly “not me not me, it won’t work” they’ll be coming soon…*

Your mind would replay your darkest terrors in your sleep making you will yourself to stay awake most nights, hydra had truly broken you and your mind never let you forget…

Swinging your legs out of bed you plodded slowly over to the bathroom you splashed your face with some cold water and looked into the mirror, you were pale and your eyes looked tired, your long (colour) hair messy from an awful half nights rest, turning away from your reflection, you made a feeble attempt at brushing it then threw on some jeans and a vest. you knew you had stayed in this apartment too long, ever since you found out s.h.i.e.l.d was searching for you, you knew it would only be a matter of time for them to find you and s.h.i.e.l.d capturing you would make it even easier for hydra to find and kill you. 

There was a hard knock at the door, your body instantly tensed up; no-one knew you were here and even if they did it was 2 am in the morning. “Shit” you hissed under your breath shield or hydra or whatever must have found you. you started to regret your decision to stay longer, running to your bedroom you started grabbing everything in sight and stuffing it all in to a backpack, fake passport, clothes, money, you could hear knocking In the other room and a man’s voice that you couldn’t make out. You grabbed your bag, shoved on your shoes. You managed to grab your coat while running to the back exit to the apartment, thank god for back exits you thought, as you swung the door open to run out your body screeched to a halt as a tall well-built man in all black stood calmly in the doorway as if he was expecting you, you could hear the front door being bashed down behind you.

Frantically, mind racing you turned on your heel in order to escape the man blocking your way but he reached out and grabbed your wrist before you could run, you turned and punched him hard in the jaw but he didn’t move, his grip vice like remained, his hand was hard and cold, it felt like metal… he was reaching for something at his side, a gun? A knife? anger and fear was bubbling up inside of you, your telekinesis was hardly ever in control and you did your best to supress it but at times your abilities would take over your body and your brain would leave surviving up to them, you could feel your head going hazy, your vision turning red, you were blacking out, this was one of those times…

Bucky’s pov~

As (y/n) was pulling away after punching me in the jaw my grip tightened on her arm, this was going to be easy I thought reaching for the sedatives stark provided us with, he said they would knock (y/n) in under a minute no harm done, “shit” I huffed, might help if I had remembered to bring them. “STEVE IN HERE” I shouted, Steve rushed in seconds later holding his sedative, he stopped dead In his tracks looking at (y/n) then back at me “uhm Buck maybe you should uh” his voice was a whisper and his eyes were infused with fear but why? Confused I looked down at (y/n) I hadn’t even noticed she had stopped yanking at my arm, her eyes had tuned a deep shade of blood red, her body was tense and she was staring into nothing “what the...”.

I loosened my grip on her arm and Steve slowly moved forward with the needle he reached out and touched her wrist “this won’t hurt it will just calm you down, ok (y/n)?” “(y/n)?”  
she snapped out of her trance and violently hit Steve yanking her arm from me and running for the door, Steve lashed round running to stand between her and the door, her hands were outstretched and taut but she was moving them slightly as if she was holding something, I realised what she was doing, “STEVE” Steve’s body flew into the wall behind him with a sickening crack in which I assumed was one of his ribs, he sunk to the ground with a pained groan. 

I grabbed her from behind in a headlock squeezing her neck in attempt to knock (y/n) out but she continued thrashing against me, despite her small frame (y/n) was unusually strong I doubted a non-super soldier could of restrained her… appliances were flying around the room crashing in to walls and smashing things, I kneed her hard in leg and she fell to the ground with a yelp, I ran to Steve grabbing the needle and popping the top off, seeing her attempt to get up I jumped on her pressing my weight in to her legs I used my metal arm to hold her wrists above her head, objects from all over the apartment were crashing in to me but I remained still, I took the needle from my mouth and pushed it straight into her neck, it took a few seconds of screaming before her eyes started fading back to her natural green and for a moment before she passed out she looked at me with genuine bewilderment like she had no idea what had just happened.


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2  
You pov~ 

You opened your eyes and groaned out loud, your head was thumping and your body ached and you was in what looked like a very expensive hotel room, as you sat up you realised your foot was handcuffed to the bed, “great” you huffed, The room you was in looked more like a luxury apartment than a hotel room, the odd sense of style the interior had made you uneasy, this was not a hydra cell and certainly not a s.h.i.e.l.d facility however you guessed that the two men that had taken you must be from s.h.i.e.l.d due to the lack of bullets in you, but why hadn’t they killed you? And where the hell were you? Your mind was filling with questions, you didn’t remember how you got here, you didn’t even remember blacking out, your emotions had done this to you before making you black out and causing your dangerous abilities to spin put of control, so you didn’t exactly blame shield for wanting you captured however hydra was a different story, you would sooner kill yourself than let them get their hands on you again…  
You heard the door click and slowly open, you recognised the man from the night before and clocked the needle ready in his hand,

“Stay where you are! Don’t come anywhere near me you hear me!?” you yelled this in a much higher octave than usual, your voice was dry and sounded vulnerable, maybe you were more scared than you let yourself realise… 

you stared wide eyed at the man, he’d retreated back close to the door, your eyes followed him closely careful watching the needle in his hand, he was tall unbelievably well-built and had broad shoulders he wore a plain black t-shirt and dark jeans his long brown hair was scruffy and masked his stubble coated jaw but held himself in the formal manner of a soldier. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to make sure you’re alright, my names Bucky” he said calmly, “and this,” he said holding up the needle as if reading your mind, “this was just in case you woke up in a dangerous mood” he said mockingly,

“Why am I alive” you blurted out, he looked confused by this question and replied “why wouldn’t you be?” 

“Well you came to kill me didn’t you?” you said with a little more force than intended 

“What?! No we came to help you, your abilities are out of control s.h.i.e.l.d needed to take action but we wanted to give you a chance” he paced as he explained this he looked tired and stressed although you couldn’t imagine why. 

“If you’re not shield who are you? And if you want to ‘help’ me why am I handcuffed?!” you yelled at him pointing to your handcuffed foot, your rage had overcome your fear and you wanted answers. 

He sighed, “Maybe if you hadn’t attacked my friend and I we wouldn’t have had to handcuff you to a bed,” he said at an oddly low tone compared to your previous outburst, 

you frowned and looked up at him “attacked?” you voice barely audible, he stopped pacing and looked at you with surprise “(y/n) you don’t remember last night do you.” you hated the black outs, you hated not knowing what terrible things you could of done…ashamed, you turned your face away from him, he walked over to the end of the bed and uncuffed you “you need to come with me now” 

You were lead through multiple halls and room when you finally reached a lab looking room, in the corner crouched over a desk looking deeply focused on something mechanical was Tony Stark, you recognised him instantly, And by the look of the outstanding New York skyline surrounding you outside the panelled windows you knew you was in the stark tower. 

“Stark” Bucky said, “Yup over here” tony shouted cheerfully. you watched him walk over to stark and mutter some things to him, tony was watching you like a hawk, Bucky was also staring at you which made you blush uncomfortably, aside from the fact he was sinfully attractive there was something else about him that you couldn’t pinpoint, he was so intense the way his eyes were always alert around the room but yet he looked so lost. 

“Look can someone just tell me why I’m here?” you asked, interrupting their obvious whispering about you,

Steve: “because we want to help you control your abilities (y/n) and then after getting your abilities under control we want you to consider being a part of the team, I’ve seen you in action you could do a lot of good (y/n)” 

You looked at the door of the lab a tall broad man stood hand on his hips, daring blue eyes and short neat blonde hair, he wore blue jeans and a shockingly tight white t-shirt, he had a sling round is arm and bruise over his left eye, before you could reply he walked further into the room and held his hand out to you “Steve Rogers ma’am” 

He nodded his head and gave you a small grin “you have quite a right hook (y/n)” you looked down embarrassed that you had hit captain frikin America – gods righteous man and didn’t even remember doing it, “I wasn’t thinking I’m sorry, I have these um well they’re like black outs but-”-

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had worse.” the blonde man smiled sympathetically shedding a glace behind you to Bucky,

“Cap” Tony nodded as a late greeting then turned to you “Capsicles right, it’s your best shot at having a normal life instead of constantly looking over your shoulder. Dr. Banner has come up with pills which can suppress your abilities enough to help you channel your abilities instead of blacking out and hurting people, and cap here is gonna help you with anything you need, and trust me he’s had experience.” tony said shedding another discrete glance to Bucky

You looked up at Steve when tony said this, a hopeful expression in both their faces, Bucky had retreated to the corner of the room where he sat watching with steady eyes. “Could this really work” you questioned looking at tony then at Steve 

“It’s worth a shot.” Tony said nudging you in the shoulder excitedly.


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Bucky’s pov~

It was around 11 pm when I made my way down to (y/n) room with a small box of pills that would prep her body for the rise in dosage in the upcoming days, Nat and Clint were off on missions so this potential new team member was left up to me especially with her track record for flying of the rails, hydra had trained me to react quickly to dangerous situations but with months of rehabilitation Steve now could trust me to handle (y/n) tactfully without killing her, not that I complained, (y/n) fascinated me, she had so much power yet she felt so defenceless against things she could probably destroy without flinching, the records s.h.e.i.l.d gave us only tracked her back 6 months ago, she had blacked out in Colorado and caused quite as scene, luckily no one died but it certainly grabbed their attention. 

I knocked at her door, no answer, I knocked again and waited, still nothing I squeezed the handle slightly and tilted the door open I could hear her breathing, gasping for air, I walked further in the room it was too dark to fully see but (y/n) was muttering things between breaths ‘please not me’, ‘not me’, ‘I don’t want this’, she sounded like she was weeping, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw (y/n) on her bed curled up in a ball rocking “(y/n)!?” 

I ran and knelt on her bed and shook her wildly trying to wake her up but she continued murmuring getting louder and louder the more I persisted to wake her up, “(y/n) wake up your dreaming!” I yelled, ‘just kill me, just kill me’ she was full blown screaming now,

I shook her violently one more time and finally she woke up, hot tears rolling down her cheeks she pulled her knees up to her chest, “what where am I,, I don’t know where I am please don’t hurt me again,, please” she whimpered through gasping breaths. 

“Whoa whoa (y/n) calm down you’re okay, you’re in New York, its Bucky remember me?” I rested my arm on her shoulder shushing her trying to get her to slow her breathing, she lent her head forward leaning on my chest silently crying clutching my flesh arm tight,

“Hydra’s going to find me” “they’re going to kill me” “oh god, oh god” “I can’t be in new York not again, not again” 

My body stiffened at the mention of hydra, how did (y/n) know about them? Better yet why would they be coming for her? I pulled her head up to face me but her eyes were screwed shut in attempt to stop crying “(y/n) look at me no one is going to hurt you I swear, your safe here” 

As she looked at me her eyes no longer had their usual green shine they had a red haze and were misty, “(y/n) why would hydra come for you?” I whispered but she shook her head and buried it in her hands “I can’t” she cried.

Seeing (y/n) like this, so fragile so different from her seemingly strong willed self before, sent shivers through me, I knew first-hand how ruthless hydra could be, I pulled her close and she buried her head into my neck muffling her sobs, I stroked her hair over and over sensing her breathing steady but her heart was still hammering in chest I told her she was safe and everything was going to be okay, I asked her where she grew up, where she wanted to travel and so on to distract her it eventually worked and after a few hours of talking she fell asleep in my arms, I didn’t want to risk waking her and it’s not like I slept most nights anyway so I stayed awake memorising the details of her peaceful face, wondering what the hell hydra could of done to her. 

Lil time skip to the morning ~~~ 

Your pov~ 

Sunlight streamed in the room waking you up your eyes were puffy and your chest felt heavy with tiredness, something was different though, someone’s hand was stroking mindless patterns on the small of your back, not any hand a cold metal one, you realised that your head wasn’t resting on your pillow, it was on Bucky’s chest, that’s when images from last night came flooding back to you, the dream, hydra, everything you feared most. what’s worse is that Bucky saw it all you hardly knew him yet he’d witnessed the after effects of the horror you had endured for years, and actually managed to calm you down, normally you’d sit up for hours replaying your nightmare until dawn.

You slowly slid your head upwards to look at Bucky his gaze was already on you “your awake” he said a hint of surprise in his voice, you noticed his hand had fallen back to his side, he was sitting slightly upright leaning up against the headboard legs on top of the duvet while you remained under it with your head still on his chest, you sat up and pulled a blanket around you embarrassedly, you had forgotten you had only fallen asleep earlier that night with an oversized stark industries shirt, you would need to find some clothes of your own soon rather than later, Steve hadn’t thought to take any of yours when they took you from your apartment. “I uhm I’m sorry about__” 

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault I went through a similar thing once” Bucky interrupted, “(y/n) it’s not your fault, whatever hydra did to you or made you do, none of its your fault but you need to tell me what’s going on so we can protect you…” he spoke firmly,

“What did you mean, you went through I similar thing once?” you questioned, something flickered in him, a look of sorrow and pain mixed with something else, you recognised it strongly… 

“I used to be an assassin, for hydra, they made me into a super soldier like Steve and tortured me for a very long time, I couldn’t escape because they made me a monster who only knew orders, I killed so many people (y/n) I never wanted to do any of it and if it wasn’t for Steve I would still be brainwashed but he made me remember and I owe him everything for that, (y/n) I’m telling you this because I want you to trust the fact we can help you if you let us.”

You stared at him, he was hydra, or used to be… you now knew why you recognised him, that tortured look that flickered in his eyes when he spoke was the same look you would see in the mirror after your nightmares, it was the look of regret and terror, you hated how the fear of hydra consumed you. 

“I was their experiment. kidnapped because of my blood type or gene pool or whatever, hydra needed a certain type of person for their tests and I happened to be one of those… they shot my family, they took me to different facilities torturing me for months at a time before starting trials, injecting me with things, to prevent me dying from the relentless mental and physical torture I was forced to have more injections and serums to speed up my healing process, which to hydra was just a good excuse to hurt me some more… they wanted to experiment the limitations of humans when an inhuman ability was forced upon them – me, by some fucked up miracle I didn’t die, it sure felt like it though,” You looked down at your hands not wanting to say the next part,

“they made me do things Bucky, horrible things, for 5 years I was their god dam puppet. About a year ago, something went down in DC and a lot of hydra was destroyed before they could move me to another base I saw my chance and took it, I’ve been running ever since.”

Bucky looked at you hard in silence a look of pain washing over his features momentarily “you deserved better than this” his flesh hand brushed over yours making your fingers tingle from the unknown sensation,

“your safe here (y/n) I promise you.” he stood up without a word his expression unreadable, held his hand out to you helping you up, “we should go to breakfast.” you smiled “I’d like that”. 

At breakfast tony was sat opposite you giving you a playful grin, Steve had placed himself next to you every now and again asking you if you needed anything, you assured him you was fine. The two agents Natasha and Clint had returned from a mission they were loud and friendly, Natasha offered to help train you, refusing to take no for an answer.

Dr banner was quietly at the end of the table eating cereal and writing stuff down, occasionally looking up to ask you questions about your health, diet and medical history, which didn’t bother you, you picked at the fruit salad you had been given, grateful for the food, you hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning after all. 

Bucky was sat opposite Steve, his eyes focused on his breakfast with animal like determination, you were grateful he didn’t bring up your past with the others, something between you and this stranger had changed, you knew the darkest parts of each other, you had both been through such awful things, you had never felt close to anyone before, but with him it was different, you felt safe... after breakfast you went to wash and get changed into some clothes Natasha had lent you, then you was instructed to meet Steve in the gym for your first fight session. Maybe this could be a fresh start you thought to yourself.


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Bucky’s pov~

(y/n) had been in the tower for a few weeks now, most days she would train in the gym with Steve or Natasha, she once asked me to train with her but the thought of me having one of my flash backs during our sparring and accidentally killing her didn’t really appeal. She understood. I had come in a few times to watch her training, amazingly fitness wasn’t a problem for (y/n) she could beat the shit out of a punching bag for hours at a time, Natasha had been teaching her some of her signature fight moves in which she would later try out on Steve unfortunately for him, that consisted of a deadly thigh grip around his neck. 

She would bounce around flipping and kicking, her hair in a loose ponytail with pieces often falling over her face, and I couldn’t help admire her beauty, she was small and slim with eyes that could make you do anything if she asked, when I was doing weights in the gym I couldn’t stop my eyes from lingering on her delicious curves and often I had to remind myself not to stare at the roundness of her perfect ass, I knew I wasn’t supposed to, I didn’t mean to want her like that I was supposed to protect her.

Banner had started her off on small doses of the pills but it still made her incredibly ill, for an entire week after the first dose she was bed ridden screaming in pain, I couldn’t stand seeing her like it but banner said there was no other way. (y/n) nightmares had been worse than usual that week I would find her in one of Stark’s many lounges in the middle of the night flicking through the tv or simply just staring out the window willing her body to stay awake, I would stay up with her those nights, sometimes we would talk for hours on end and others we would sit together in silence knowing each other’s pain, there was something about her that couldn’t pin point, it made me never want to leave her side as if doing so would be wrong I felt responsible for her, no, not responsible something else, something that I had vever felt before… 

Your pov~

For the first few weeks you had honestly considered leaving in the dead of night and never turning back, the training was exhausting and the doses of pills made your blood feel as if it was lava inside your veins however you carried on with your head held high, this was mostly down to Bucky you thought to yourself, if he could continue every day after what hydra did to him the you dam well could too, not to mention the fact he would help you through your night terrors even if that meant talking to you until the sun rose, you noticed how compared to his usual distant self when others were around he was a completely different person when alone with you, he opened up to you more and more each day, he trusted you and you trusted him, it was a bond you had never knew until now… 

Tony was kind of your mentor since moving into the tower, you had actually become good friends which wasn’t something you had anticipated, You and tony chattered all the way through dinner occasionally laughing hardly at some crude joke he made, he jumped out of nowhere wide eyed he smiled at you as if a light bulb had gone off in his head, “what?” you questioned 

“(y/n) why don’t you pass me that bottle of champagne” he grinned pointing across the room to the liquor cabinet “I’ve been saving it and now is a great time to celebrate” he continued to grin wildly

“errrr okay?” you looked confused at Tony’s expression but went to get up anyway, tony hooked his arm around your waist pulling you back into your seat “where do you think you’re going?

Everyone was watching you both now with confused expressions, you frowned a confused smile creeping to your lips, “Tony, you just said to get--”   
“Ah ah nope I never said with your hands” he interrupted,

You caught on what he wanted you to do and shook your head “I can’t just do it when I want to. It just happens sometimes like when I’m scared or angry”

“Come on pleaseeee, at least try, you’ve been doing so well lately” tony pleaded, his arm still hanging around your waist, you noticed Bucky’s eyes weren’t on you but were trained on Starks arm. 

“Hey maybe it’s not such a bad idea, it’s worth a try” Steve suggested.

“fine but I’m not paying for any damage” you joked, 

hesitantly you shut your eyes and tried to concentrate on the champagne bottle across the room you could feel the team’s eyes on you but you ignored the sensation, you reopened your eyes which were now a deep shade of red and stared straight at the bottle, you could feel your strength inside you and willed the bottle to come to you, you raised your hand as if you were about to catch it and when you did so the bottle hurtled towards you with incredible speed, instead of catching it you and tony had to duck as it smashed into the wall behind you.

“well it was certainly close” Natasha laughed, you joined in happy at the fact you had even been able to make it move,

“thanks tony” you grinned, 

“I’m going to get another bottle and we will really celebrate” tony laughed kissing you on the cheek as he got up.

You smiled and moved towards the pool table “Steve you’re up and if you lose we’re getting you drunk” you pointed at him playfully, 

For the rest of the night Natasha and you went up against tony Steve and Bucky in various games, of course the super soldiers won any that required drinking because of their super-fast metabolism where as you and Natasha got trashed and ganged up on tony asking him VERY personal questions about his and peppers sex life.

It was 2 am and you and Natasha were slow dancing and giggling while you did, tony was half unconscious laying on his pool table while Steve and Bucky talked amongst each other looking at you and Natasha dancing with gleaming eyes and shit eating grins.

“I think Steve likes you yknow” you whispered to Natasha, she hit your arm playfully

“What about Bucky huh? I’ve seen the way you look at each other” she says diverting the subject from her obvious crush on Steve, 

“Bucky doesn’t like me like that he just helps me with a few things that’s all” you said but with an obvious hint of doubt in your voice. You and Natasha continued swaying then she made a rude joke in your ear which made you two laugh so much you both ended up giggling in each other’s arms on the floor,

“Right ladies I think it’s time we got you to bed” Steve chuckled “but steeveeee” you whined,

“Nope” he said taking the half empty bottle of champagne from your hand (not to mention the 5 others on the floor) he hoisted Natasha up and started leading her out the room

“Buck help me out would yah” Steve called, Bucky groaned lifting up from his seat and making his way over to you he reached out hand to help you up but instead you shook your head and grinned playfully 

“So it’s like that is it” he smirked, he lifted you up bridle style which made you squeal in shock and walked out of the room towards the elevator

“Put me down” you whined but he ignored you he carried you all the way to your room and placed you carefully on your bed 

“There now you can get some sleep, you’re not going to enjoy the hangover that follows” he chuckled turning to leave   
You attempted to pull your dress off and failed miserably after a few attempts you huffed at yourself and slumped back down in the bed, 

“dress annoyinggg help” you moaned Bucky sighed and awkwardly sat you up, and unzipped you and pulled you dress over your head, he coughed as an awkward sign of your black lace bra and panties on show but you just giggled and looked into his eyes, 

As he pulled your blankets over you and laid you down your mind wondered how he felt about you, you wasn’t even sure how you felt about him, it was more than friendship, it was loyalty, you would do anything for this man and you were pretty sure the feeling was mutual, Bucky’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, “Can’t say I thought I’d ever be doing this” he laughed, 

“good night (y/n)” he whispered before quietly shutting your door behind him you closed your eyes and fell into a deep drunken sleep.


	5. chapter 5

Your pov~

The last thing you could remember was tony strip dancing on the pool table while giving out shots to everyone. You groaned and got out of bed, your head was thumping, it was 6 am and after last night you doubted anyone would be up yet, you through on a large t shirt that reached about mid-thigh and made your way down to the kitchen to find some aspirin you grabbed a bottle of water and two pills and jumped up to sit on the counter top, 

you gulped down the water as if your life depended on it failing to make your throat any less dry you sighed refilling it and grabbing a bowl of strawberries and a can of spray cream, you were just about to go back to your room when you a low groan, you turned around and there lying on the pool table was a shirtless hungover tony stark, you laughed aloud, 

“Someone can’t handle their drink” you smirked, he rubbed his forehead cringing at the flash backs he was having 

“Pass me some of that water would yah” he yawned,  
You plodded over him and sat on the pool table passing him your water “you got a migraine too?” he asked

“What do you think” you said jokingly.

He pinched a strawberry from your bowl and popped it in his mouth with a cheeky grin “nice shirt,” he said eyeing your exposed legs,   
You laughed and shoved him playfully “really (y/l/n) you don’t wanna go there” he warned in a sarcastic tone, 

“Or what? Are you going to try stop me with your strip tease?” you laughed, he picked up another strawberry and dabbed some of the whipped cream on your nose 

“ewww no its sticky!” you squealed and threw a fistful of whipped cream back at him and he screeched 

“oh your so going to pay for that” tony shouted and leaped on you attempting to smear cream on your face you kicked and screamed all the while getting covered in whipped cream you had just reached the can and sprayed as much as you could in Tony’s face before he pinned your arms over your head to restrain you “so mean” he tutted his eyes sparkling you laughed and pushed him off you, 

“I’m going for a shower” you hissed with a smirk, flicking remnants of cream from you skin as you left,

“without me?!” tony mocked pulling the fakest offended voice he could manage before hosting himself off the pool table and giving you a wave as you left.

The elevator beeped and opened onto the floor below yours Bucky and Steve stepped in and looked at you wide eyed, it was one thing you only had a long shirt and panties on as you didn’t expect to run in to anyone that morning, let alone the fact you were covered head to toe in whipped cream mess with your long hair all tangled hanging by your sides, 

you wrapped your arms around your middle “uhm don’t ask” you looked down embarrassedly feeling their gaze on you, normally you wouldn’t of cared but having Bucky see you like this made you cringe for some reason, you hurried out when the elevator reached your floor leaving the soldiers stunned in silence, 

Bucky’s pov~

(y/n) left the elevator as quick as her body could move her, Steve looked to me with a confused expression that I mirrored, the elevator pinged and we stepped out simultaneously stopping in our tracks to a dishevelled shirtless tony sitting in the dining area, he was also covered in whipped cream, he winked at tony and nudged my arm “does someone want to tell us something?” he said in a exited tone, I shrugged off his arm and made my way to the counter eyes locked on Stark waiting for a response, anger bubbling up inside me, did something really happen between (y/n) and stark!? 

Stark lifted himself from his seat and made his way to the elevator “nothing to tell” he replied mockingly leaving to clean himself up, 

“Why do I always miss the fun stuff?! I didn’t think stark was (y/n’s) type to be honest.” Steve grinned,

I ignored him not wanting to think of the possible scenarios to the mess on the floor. I grabbed an energy bar and made my way to the gym to have a few rounds on the weights I was in there for what felt like hours until Natasha came in asking if I had seen (y/n), 

“last time I saw her was this morning, she’s probably with Stark” I said through gritted teeth, I didn’t know what it was about (y/n) being so close to Stark but I hated it, I hated the way he would touch her and whisper things to her, I tried to convince myself I was just in my head, that they were just friends I thought back to one time when we were all watching a movie and I caught a glimpse of him gripping her thigh (y/n) would laugh it off and push him away however it took all of my self-control not to rip his throat out right there. 

“(y/n) isn’t with stark he’s in the lab today, asked for no disturbances working on another suit as always” Natasha smirked, I didn’t reply. She sighed “well if you see her let me know.”

All day everyone had been busy so I thought I better check on (y/n), Natasha and Steve left the tower to check out addresses of some suspected hydra members, Banner had gone back to the lab as usual, I had just got out of the elevator when down the hall there was a deafening crash and a pained cry from down the hall (y/n) was the only one on this floor besides myself…


	6. chapter 6

5 minutes ago~~

Your pov~ 

The phone you had just been holding cracked in your fist and fell to the floor, “you shouldn’t of come back to New York. Now you have nowhere to run (y/n).”   
the male voice on the phone had laughed darkly before hanging up making you shiver, his words echoed in your brain, he knew your name… hydra had found you. 

You paced around your room trying to stay calm but objects rattled every few seconds and you knew if you didn’t slow your heart rate you were going to pass out and destroy your apartment, you took deep slow breaths but nothing seemed to be working, your palms felt like they were buzzing with electricity and your forehead felt like it was on fire, 

you went to open the door to your apartment but instead of opening it you accidently ripped it off its hinges sending you and the door flying back on to the floor with a crash and a yelp you looked up to see Bucky standing in the door way wide eyed and standing as if ready for a fight, 

“what the fuck (y/n) are you okay?” 

“yeah I’m fine just an accident that’s all” you lied, you couldn’t let Bucky know about hydra, he would want to protect you he would just be putting himself and the rest of the avengers in danger if he found out and you weren’t going to let that happen, not after everything they had done for you.

You got up and rubbed your temple, looking around the room mentally trying to separate the essentials from the non-essentials, where the fuck did I put my passport? You thought to yourself before grabbing a bag from the closet and putting it on the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Bucky questioned worriedly

“I can’t stay here” you said throwing random items of clothing into your bag and grabbing the burgundy jacket Natasha had given you, 

“(y/n) you can’t leave because of a minor accident, that’s the whole reason you’re here.” Bucky raised an eyebrow, his hard eyes followed you around the room questioning your sudden motive to leave, you ignored his presence and continued to pack your bag, it was too hard to look at his face knowing it would hurt you more to see his expression as you leave him. 

You went to leave but Bucky’s flesh hand reached yours and held on to it tightly “please don’t leave” he said confusion covering his face,  
You turned to face him, his defined features had lines etched into them from years of hardship, God only knows what those eyes had witnessed. 

“Bucky I have to” you said squeezing his hand lovingly, he took your bag from you “at least let me take you to somewhere you can stay that’s safe” he pleaded,

“fine” you sighed rubbing your forehead knowing you wasn’t going to get anywhere by refusing, the fact he didn’t even question why you wanted to leave made your heart warm, he didn’t need to know. He would protect you no matter what.

Bucky drove you all the way to Brooklyn to a small apartment building the apartment was on the 5th floor and number 22,he pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, “who’s place is this?” you asked putting your bag down, 

“it was Steve’s before he moved in to the stark tower, he said I can use it whenever I want if I need some time to myself yknow” Bucky’s tone changed as it always did when he spoke about Steve, he had so much love and respect for the captain they would always be more than just soldiers or brothers. 

Bucky stood against the door frame as if he was about to leave, “you can stay as long as you like, it’s safe here” he said smiling slightly,

“Thank you Bucky you don’t know how much this means to me” you pulled a fake smile touching his arm hoping he wouldn’t notice your deceit, you were grateful he would give up his safe house for you but you had every intent on leaving as soon as he was out of sight, you needed to stay on the run if you had any chance of escaping hydra,

“I should get back to the tower” Bucky said without moving, eying you carefully trying to figure out why you were lying to him, he wasn’t stupid, he knew you would do anything to keep others out of danger even if that meant putting yourself in the middle of it.

“yeah… I’ll see you tomorrow bright an early Buck” you lied with the best light hearted voice you could muster, 

“Look (y/n) I know everything that’s going on in your life right now is confusing but things will get better” Bucky said with a small smile,

“Yeah right, I think my life is too fucked up to ever go back to normal Buck” you said a hint of sadness on your tongue,

“I mean it (y/n) before I met you I used to think the same thing but now… now it’s like every time I look at you I know everything will be okay” Bucky lowered his gaze embarrassed at his confession,

“You really think that?” you asked gazing up at him, he stepped closer to you now only inches from your face he looked down into your eyes, 

“I don’t think you realise how amazing you are, you’re strong and beautiful and no man could ever deserve you, especially stark for that matter. I can’t stop thinking about you! (y/n) I’ve never been so jealous about who talks to you or touches you but the thought of you with him… I can’t stand it! I want you to be mine. No one else’s. I want to be the only one able to touch you and make you feel things you’ve never felt before…” he stared at you with intensity making you weak in the knees, you would be lying if you said you hadn’t of thought of Bucky between your legs before, he was the sexiest man you had ever met besides the fact being around him you felt free, you felt safe and you loved it. The way he was looking at you could only be described as lust, his words ringed in your ears and it was making you wet… but wait did he think you and stark had a thing?!

“Bucky! Are you seriously telling me you think me and Tony… well ME AND TONY!” you laughed and patted his arm slightly  
“Bucky that’s gross I mean stark is old enough to be my father, a seriously inappropriate and drunk father but still, there is certainly nothing going on with me and stark.” 

Bucky smiled widely practically beaming down at you, “I’m technically older than stark you know” he laughed 

“Then I guess I’m gross for loving such an old man” you batted your eyelids playfully and pouted innocently,

“Love huh?” Bucky’s eyes sparkled and a seductive smile played on his lips 

“shut up Barnes” you whispered before placing a light kiss on his lips slowly wrapping your arms around his neck, he pulled back and looked at you, a mixture of shock and lust cover his face, 

“I mean it, feel the same way Buck, when I’m with you it just feels right. I want you.” you whispered, 

his hands were resting on your hips making your breathing intensify, you were frozen to the spot, before you could move he smashed his lips to yours with ferocity, you’ve never felt such a passion and want for someone like this and the feeling surged you onwards,

his tongue brushed against you lower lip asking for entry, you complied, both your kisses fighting for dominance, he gripped your hips tightly pulling you as close to him as possible your back was now against the wall, your hands searching each other’s bodies, he lifted you up wrapping your legs around his waist an hooking your arms around his neck, your lips reached his neck occasionally sucking on his sweet spot earning lusty moans from him,

he started lightly grinding against you making you aware of the growing heat between your legs, you started unbuttoning his shirt, “where’s the bedroom?” you half spoke half moaned, Bucky lifted you up and walked to the bedroom throwing you onto the soft mattress unceremoniously, he tore his shirt off before crawling back on top of you kissing up your stomach as he did,

“your so fucking beautiful (y/n)” Bucky growled in your ear, you moaned and arched your back wanting to feel him touch you again, he rested one hand on above your hip and the other on your thigh and began kissing you again you guessed Bucky must of got to in to it because his metal and started gripping a little too tight on your thigh you ignored the fact you would probably bruise and continued to kiss Bucky but his metal hand got tighter with his arousal making you squirm in pain and clutch his shoulder a little tighter, he pulled away instantly,

“shit sorry did I hurt you?” buck stood up breaking the sexual tension between you, “no I’m fine get back here” you said holding on to his arm, he pulled away picking up his shirt on the floor “ no this was a mistake I’m sorry (y/n)” he left the room glancing at you apologetically before he left you sat up bewildered at the fact you had been left high and dry – and hardly dry for that matter.


	7. chapter 7

Bucky’s pov~

I headed straight to the gym and took out all my frustration on multiple punch bags, I was a fucking idiot if I thought even for a second I could be with someone after what hydra did to me, I’m a monster and in forgetting that I could have seriously hurt (y/n) the last person on this earth I want to hurt,

I continued punching the shit out of the bag until a veil of sweat covered my forehead, “buck you ok?” Steve walked in showing his usual look of concern whenever I started having flash backs of hydra or my years as the winter soldier I would work off my stress like this destroying a few punching bags was always better than taking out my rage on an unsuspecting victim… 

“Yeah I’m good” I spat out my words venomously not meaning to aim them at Steve, 

“Sure doesn’t look like it, you having flashbacks again?” he asked,

“I said I’m fine” I replied sending the punching bag flying across the room after punching it to hard 

“Buck, come on man talk to me” Steve urged seeing my resolve,

“I love her Steve. I fucking love her” I said angrily more so to myself than Steve, 

he looked shocked for a second not expecting that answer then is gaze softened “buck there’s nothing wrong with that, you both have been through so much and from the way I’ve seen her look at you I wouldn’t be far off in guessing she feels the same way.” 

I stared at him wondering why he thought (y/n) felt the way she did. “It’s not as simple as that Steve I could hurt her even worse I could kill her” I raised my voice in a feeble attempt to hide my shame because the fact was I couldn’t just pretend not to have feelings for her, now she knew, and I knew she felt the same way, 

“Bucky we’re past this you’re not going to hurt anyone especially not (y/n)! You deserve to be happy.” He looked at me pleadingly as if trying to convince a child.

“You know that’s not true, all it takes is 2 seconds, 2 seconds of me having a flash back or a breakdown and snapping her neck, I can’t do it Steve, I just cant, if I hurt her I’ll never forgive myself…” 

I sat down on the bench next to Steve and rubbed my forehead he patted my back and said “Bucky you need to trust yourself more I know you won’t hurt her no matter what you think but if you really believe that maybe you should just try pretend not to like her that way?” he shrugged

“It’s too late for that Steve, I wish I could go back I really fucked up” I put my head in my hands and breathed deeply 

“What do you mean too late buck?” Steve questioned worriedly 

“she was going to leave, I had to tell her, I kissed her… well she kissed me, I mean well we did a lot more than kiss” I staggered over my words trying to explain before Steve jumped to conclusions,

“we didn’t go further than that technically I mean we was going to but I, I got too...he got too….” I trailed off unable to explain Steve knew whenever I referred to myself as ‘he’ I meant the winter soldier he knew I hated that part of myself and always thought of it as hydra and not a part of me.

“Wow buck… you need to talk to (y/n) you both deserve a win…” Steve sighed getting up from his seat heading for the door, he turned around before he left “I think (y/n) trusts you a lot more than you know, and that isn’t for no reason.” He left and is words hung in the air and served as a conscious for my thoughts, in all honesty I had no idea what I was going to do, the taste of (y/n)’s lips still lingered on my own and the softness of her touch haunted me, I needed to see her but at the same time I knew I had to force myself to stay away for her own sake.


	8. chapter 8

Your pov~

You had decided to stay in the apartment for the night there’s no way hydra could have tracked it down in 12 hours and you needed to have a good night’s sleep, it would be the only one you would be getting for a while. 

Your mind flickered back to last night, everything happened so fast and you couldn’t help but replay in your head, ugh why did Bucky have to leave like that, you checked your phone. Nothing. You knew it would be unlikely to hear from buck over the phone considering he only had one for emergencies and he rarely went near it, Steve had insisted he had one just in case. 

You couldn’t leave yet. Not like this, not without seeing Bucky one last time. You hailed a cab and went straight to the avenger’s tower.

You walked through the lobby your head panging, you had felt a migraine beginning since this morning getting worse by the hour, it was a bitch but who wouldn’t have a headache from the stress of running from hydra, the elevator pinged at Bucky’s floor and just as you reached his apartment Bucky stepped out causing you two to collide together, he instantly grabbed your arm to stop you from falling and you placed a hand on his chest,

“Bucky I need to talk to you” you said taking a step back and smoothing your top, 

“I was actually on my way to see you” he said avoiding your gaze, “come in” he said motioning in his apartment.

“Look Buck you know I trust you no matter what, I’m not scared of you, you didn’t have to leave last night” you said quietly resting your hand on his arm raising the other to rub your temple lightly, fucking migraines,

Bucky stroked your hair out of your face leaving his flesh hand on your cheek “I’d do anything for you doll but putting you at risk aint happening”

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME AT ANY RISK” you raised you voice and shook his shoulders, not that it made the super soldier budge,

“I just need you to know. You’re a good man Bucky and I love you, all of you” you whispered taking hold of his metal hand and kissing it.

“I love you (y/n)” he cupped your cheeks in his palms and kissed you gently again and again on your lips making you giggle and pull him closer, you kissed him hard and long only pulling away when you both were out of breath,

“Doll I have to ask... why did you leave?” he held you but you could feel his grip faltering, you stepped back and looked down not wanting to lie again, 

“Hydra… they’re coming for me, they’re not going to stop until they find me and make me theirs.” Your gaze fell to your hands, your pulse had quickened at the thought of the man’s voice on the phone and the pounding in your head had returned making you hold the bridge of your nose as you sat down, 

“You’re safe here they won’t find you doll” Bucky sat next to you and squeezed your thigh reassuringly,

“That’s the thing Buck, they already have…”

 

Bucky’s pov~

My fists clenched into tight balls while I resisted to punch a wall, how had hydra found her? 

“They gave me call last night, I think they’ll enjoy it more if I try to run.” she whispered,

I looked at (y/n) I could she was trying to hide her fear, her hair covered her face and she was gripping the sides of her seat tightly as if deep in thought,   
I realised she had bigger ideas when leaving last night, she didn't want to leave the tower, she wanted to leave new York, 

“dam it, it was when I found you in your room wasn’t it?! You were going to leave wasn’t you! Without even,-” 

“It wasn’t like that!” (y/n) cut me off, “I had to leave! Buck you of all people should understand, hell I still have to get out of here but I needed to see you first, before…” her head fell into her hands as if accepting her fate before it had even happened, 

My blood was boiling, Hydra wasn't going to take her away from me, I would track down and kill every one of them if I had to, I paced in front of her “you’re not leaving” I spoke harder than I should of, making her look up at me wide eyed 

“Of course I’m fucking leaving! I’m not just going to sit here and wait for hydra to knock on my door! Jesus Bucky you can’t be serious?!” she gripped her bag anger glazing her eyes,  
She stood to leave but I pushed her shoulder back down I leaned inches from her face, 

“Hydra isn’t going to fucking touch you doll and you’re not going anywhere without me.”


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a really short chapter I know, there will be more just really busy, hope you enjoy ;)

Your pov~

Before you could register what Bucky had said, dark spots flooded your vision and You could feel your limbs aching, the pounding in your head seemed to fade into the background along with Bucky’s voice, you could feel your eyes drooping but couldn’t will them open, it wasn’t like any of the blackouts You had experienced before it was different, it was painful and slow, you tried to hold something to keep you steady but instead you could feel yourself falling to the floor, luckily you felt Bucky’s hands catch your head in time but you still couldn’t hear his shouts and cries for help. Everything was blurry and fading and finally you succumbed to a numbing sleep.

Bucky’s pov~

‘Fuck, What The Fuck. This is not happening.’ (y/n) was currently lying in my arms passed out. No she’s too still to be passed out. Is she breathing? I frantically checked for a pulse, or any sign of life for that matter (y/n) literally looked like she had dropped dead on the spot. It was too slow, too weak. Picking (y/n) up carefully I ran to banners lab clearing a space with my free hand on one of his lab tables and carefully placing her there, “BANNER?!!” “JARVIS WHERE THE FUCK IS BANNER??” 

“Dr Banner is currently occupied with Mr stark is there something I can help with Mr Barnes? The A.I’s calm voice filled the room, I steadied my breathing, “Jarvis get Banner now, there’s something wrong with (y/n)” 

“I’ll call for him now Mr Barnes, would you like me to run a diagnostic on miss (y/l/n) while you wait?”

“YES FOR FUCK SAKE JUST HURRY” I all but screamed, I sat beside (y/n) holding her hand in both of mine kissing each of her knuckles softly “don’t you dare doll, don’t you dare leave me, I love you (y/n)…”


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky's PoV ~

The AI's voice rang in my ears " there is nothing detectably wrong with miss (y/l/n)" 

"What the fuck do you mean there's nothing wrong with her, SHES PRACTICALLY DEAD" I all but screamed smashing the lab equipment beside me as I spoke.

Stark and banner rushed in at the commotion "what's going o-" stark halted upon seeing y/n's limp body. "Oh my god what happned?!" He shouted, banner began checking her vitals immediately 

"I don't know she just collapsed, she said hydra is coming for her then fucking collapsed, please you have to do something, anything, STOP STANDING THERE AND DO SOMETHING" I was practically hyperventilating at this point. Tony was at loss for words instead hooking up his equipment to y/n while banner was trying to remain calm. I however couldn't handle this. 3 months I'd known y/n .3 months. It felt like a lifetime this morning but now it feels like ive found and lost her within a day. 

" when was the last time she took her suppressants?" Banner asked me, " I-i fuck, I don't know, last night I think" "why they could'nt have don't this could they?" I looked at him wildly, there's no way he would give y/n something dangerous that could suppress her powers, he didn't give me an answer. That was enough for me to understand. "WHY? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HER PILLS THAT COULD DO THIS BANNER?!" I growled, my fist against the college of his shirt.

"I told her they were experimental and could be dangerous and she agreed, that was her choice Barnes." He calmly retorted a guilty tone laced his voice.

I let him go and looked at y/n then back at banner, " this isn't her choice. I swear if anything happens to her banner I'll -"

"OH FUCK," tony yelled interrupting my death glare I currently was holding with banner, "what, what is it?" I came to y/n's side, beads of sweat ran down her forehead. " it's not banner's pills! I mean it is, well y/n must have thought she was taking banners serum but she wasn't look at this", he pulled up an image of words and numbers in patterns I couldn't understand it looked alien but banner hissed when he saw it, "it's Dna coding! I took a sample of y/n's blood, this chemical must have been replaced with banners serum." Stark stood with a grave expression, whatever the hell y/n has been taking, it's not good.

Your PoV~

 

Pain. Blood searing, venomous, burning, pain. You had never felt anything like it. In all your years being held captive by hydra, all the torture, all the murder, nothing amounted to this. It was indescribable, it was soul numbing. 

You were awear of your surroundings you could hear and feel the commotion around you and yet you couldn't scream out in pain. Trapped. The best way to explain it would be by saying it's like you were trapped underwater unable to get someone's attention, unable to clench your fists or grit your teeth to go through the unbearable poison running through your veins you just had to lay there and feel everything. 

A hydra operative's words echoed through your head, words you had heard many years ago, "death is a blessing compared to what we have for you child." That man was right, death is a gift, a gift you would gladly take over this.


End file.
